


The Right Time

by DownInTheGutter



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crack, Fix-It, Humor, Jealous Dean Winchester, Jealous Sam Winchester, M/M, Season 9, Sneaky bastard Crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-22
Updated: 2014-03-22
Packaged: 2018-01-16 15:05:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1351819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DownInTheGutter/pseuds/DownInTheGutter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam interrupts something he'd really rather not see, Dean is confused by French, and Crowley has a plan.</p><p>Crack with a hint of fixing the brothers' relationship this season.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Right Time

‘Dean, do we have any…’ Whatever thought Sam had in mind died when he took in the room before him. Dean, sitting on the bed with his legs spread, and in between them was _Crowley_ , his mouth on Dean’s dick, Dean’s hand on Crowley’s head.

Sam was standing in the doorway with his mouth gaping and stuck between thinking it’s all a dream and wanting to grab Crowley and bash his stupid face in when Dean looked at the doorway.

‘What the hell do you think you’re doing?!’ What Sam intended to come out as a growl was instead more of a high pitched squeal. Great.

‘Oh, god. Sam, you said you went out… I…’ Dean was stuttering for an explanation, but once he saw the pissed off expression on Sam’s face, he put his face in his hands and shut up.

Crowley on the other hand didn’t seem fazed in the slightest ‘Samantha, what two consenting adults do in their free time is really none of your...’

‘None of my business? NONE OF MY BUSINESS?!’ Sam practically shrieked ‘I… Dean… You… How…’

Dean was still sitting with his face in his hands. Crowley looked from Dean to Sam and smirked, looking obviously happy with the whole situation. Sam really wanted to punch his smug face.

‘Hey Moose, I know you’re a wee bit uptight, but if you want to join…’

‘Jesus, no, fuck, no. I’m just gonna…’ Sam made a move for the door. It actually wasn’t any of his business now that he and Dean weren’t… involved anymore. He was about to close the doors behind him (why weren’t they closed in the first place? It would have spared him the humiliation) when Crowley’s voice stopped him.

‘Figures you wouldn’t want to. Normal human beings like your brother, alright, scratch normal, more than slightly dysfunctional human beings like your brother have needs. And since you didn’t feel like putting out for the last few months…’

‘Are you calling me frigid?’ Sam bristled.

‘I didn’t tell him anything about us, Sam, I swear…’

‘It’s glaringly obvious considering how you’re snapping at each other half the time and avoiding each other the other half.’ Crowley said in a bored tone. ‘Anyway. Your brother got me candlelit dinner with whiskey instead of wine and no actual candles, really Dean, you could work on your romance skills, I felt like having sex, your brother happens to be a very attractive man, and I happen to give great head, one thing led to another... Oh, come on, don’t you blush, Moose, I happen to know you give great head from that one time or another my minions and I have been spying outside your motel room. Dean was pretty vocal in voicing praise for your skills.’

‘Jesus, Dean, aren’t you going to say anything?’

Dean just groaned into his hands. Crowley got off the bed and practically waltzed up to Sam.

‘So, Sam, whaddya say for a little _tête-à-tête_? Or maybe you’d be more into _ménage à trois_?’

‘What?’ Dean took his hands off his face and was eyeing Crowley suspiciously.

‘Don’t think too hard, Squirrel, you might strain your pretty head.’

‘He just propositioned me, Dean.’

‘What? Don’t you dare put your paws on my little brother!’

‘You don’t get to make decisions for me, Dean.’ The bitchface was back in place. Great.

‘That’s right, Dean’ Crowley snickered. He put his arm behind Sam and winked at him ‘So. What’s your choice of entertainment, Moose?’

‘Crowley, take your hand off my ass right now or I swear to God I’ll break your arm.’

Crowley did, but not before delivering a well-placed slap and scurrying off to Dean when Sam made a grab at him.

Crowley sat down on the bed next to Dean and put a hand on his knee, and when Dean didn’t shake it off Sam decided he really did need to break Crowley’s arm. That bastard.

‘Alright, Sammy boy, since it doesn’t seem like you’re too keen on joining us, why don’t you leave after all? Or you could stay and watch, I’m sure Dean won’t mind in the slightest’ Crowley moved his hand up Dean’s thigh.

‘Get your hand off my brother, you pervert.’

‘Pervert. That’s a high praise from someone that used to say “I’m your good boy, Dean” any time he would…’

‘Okay, that’s it.’ Sam stormed up to Crowley, lifted him by the lapels of his jacket and half dragged, half carried him to the door and dropped him to the ground outside the room.

‘So that’s how it’s gonna go, huh, Moose.’ Crowley straightened out his jacket. ‘Grand. Well, you boys have fun.’

Crowley closed the door to the room and then leaned against them to hear what’s going on inside. There was a moment of silence before the thump-thump-thump of Moose angrily walking up to Squirrel.

‘Sam, I…’ There was a loud thud, and Crowley guessed it had to be Moose going down to his knees since there weren’t any large trees in the vicinity that could have fallen to the floor. Another moment of silence and then Dean’s voice.

‘Oh fuck, yes… Like that… Why’d you stop?’

‘There’s Crowley’s spit all over your dick. Gross.’

‘C’mon, Sammy, don’t be afraid of a little spit… okay, a lot of spit, man, he drooled all over my dick.  
Anyway, it’s not the worst thing you’ve had in your mouth… Hey, don’t go! I was just joking, Sammy.’

‘Fine.’ Crowley could see the face Moose was making right now in his head ‘But I’m not sucking your dick.’

‘I could just wrap it and fuck you instead.’

‘Okay.’

When he heard the bedsprings squeaking Crowley walked away from the door whistling quietly. Oh well. He’ll get to Moose some other time.


End file.
